What happens in your first therapy session?
Starting therapy can feel like a big step
Especially if you have not had therapy before.
You might feel nervous, unsure what to say, or worried that you will not explain things properly. You might wonder whether you need to prepare, whether your difficulties are “serious enough”, or whether the therapist will understand what you are trying to say.
These worries are very common.
Your first therapy session is not about getting everything right. It is a chance to meet your therapist, begin talking about what has brought you to therapy, and get a feel for whether the relationship feels safe and supportive.
You do not need to arrive with all the answers. You can begin exactly where you are.
Your first therapy session is a starting point
The first session is usually a chance for you and your therapist to begin getting to know each other.
Your therapist may ask about what has brought you to therapy, how things have been feeling recently, and what you might hope to get from the work. They may also ask some questions about your background, relationships, daily life, health, support network and any previous experience of therapy.
This does not mean you need to tell your whole story straight away.
You can share whatever you wish. You can take your time. If something feels difficult to talk about, you can let your therapist know. A good therapist will not expect you to open everything up in the first meeting.
The aim is to begin gently, understand what support might be helpful, and decide whether the therapist feels like the right fit for you.
Not sure what to expect?
We're here to help you. Read more about how therapy works or get in touch to ask a question.
What will I be asked in my first therapy session?
The purpose of the first meeting is to get an overview of what’s bringing you to therapy and get a sense for whether you and your therapist are a good fit for one another.
The questions your therapist asks, are there to help them understand you, not to test you.
You can answer in as much or as little detail as feels right. You can pause, ask for clarification, or say if something feels too much to talk about at that point.
Every therapist works slightly differently, but your first session will likely include questions such as:
What is bringing you to therapy?
How long have you been experiencing the issue?
Have you had therapy before?
What support do you have around you?
How is the issue affecting you and your relationships?
What are you hoping to get out of therapy?
Do you have any questions about therapy or your therapists approach?
What if I do not know what to say?
It is completely okay if you do not know where to start.
Many people arrive at a first session feeling unsure, emotional, guarded or overwhelmed. Some people talk a lot because they have been holding things in for a long time. Others find it hard to find the words at first.
Both are absolutely fine. Your therapist is there to help you get started. You do not need to lead the whole conversation on your own and it’s OK to let your therapist know how you’re feeling about the session.
Will I have to talk about everything straight away?
No. You do not have to talk about everything in your first session.
Some experiences can feel too painful, private or complicated to explain quickly. You might need time before you feel ready to talk about certain things. You might also need to build trust before sharing parts of your story that make you feel more vulnerable.
Your therapist may ask gentle questions, but you can let them know if something feels too much, too soon. You are allowed to have boundaries in therapy. You are allowed to say, “I am not ready to talk about that yet.”
The first session is not about forcing everything into the open. It is about beginning to create a space where things can be explored carefully over time.
Therapy should move at a pace that feels right for you. The right therapist will follow your lead here.
What if I get emotional?
It’s completely normal to get emotional in your first therapy session. Often the relief of finally being able to talk through your troubles will bring the tears to the surface.
You might cry. You might feel anxious. You might feel overwhelmed with relief. You might feel numb, blank or unsure what it is you feel. You might even find yourself talking about things in a way you did not expect.
Therapy is a space where your emotions will be met with absolute care and compassion.
You do not need to apologise for feeling upset, taking your time, or finding something hard to say. Your therapist is there to support you with whatever comes up, not to rush you through it.
What if I feel nervous about being judged?
Many people worry that a therapist will judge them, misunderstand them, or think their problems are not serious enough.
A therapy session should offer a confidential, non-judgemental space where you can speak honestly about whatever you are experiencing. You do not need to make things sound better than they are. You also do not need to prove that things are bad enough for support.
If something matters to you, it matters.
What happens at the end of the first session?
Towards the end of the first session, your therapist will share their understanding of what you’re looking for help with, explain how their approach may help and ask you if you have any questions.
If they feel like they are the right therapist for you, they might ask you how you feel the session has gone and will ask if you’d like to book another session in or go away and think about it.
The first session is a chance to get a feel for the therapist and the process. If it feels right, you can continue. If you have questions, you can ask them. If it does not feel like the right fit, that is useful information too.
You do not need to decide immediately if you feel unsure.
Things you’ll need to consider together:
Whether therapy or your therapist's approach feels like the right fit for you
Where the work is and what you'll need to focus on
How often sessions should take place
Whether online, telephone or in-person sessions feel most suitable
Practical details such as fees, availability and cancellation policy
Finding the right therapist matters
Your first session is a chance to see how it feels to speak with a particular therapist. You can browse our therapists by their approach, areas of focus and availability, or get in touch if you need help.
Do I need to prepare for my first therapy session?
You do not need to prepare anything unless you want to.
Some people find it helpful to make a few notes before the session. You might want to jot down:
- what has been feeling difficult
- when things started to feel this way
- any patterns you have noticed
- what you hope might change
- questions you want to ask
- anything that feels important for the therapist to know
But this is optional.
You can also just arrive as you are and begin with whatever feels most pressing on the day. There is no right or wrong way to start.
What if I am not sure whether therapy is right for me?
You do not need to be completely certain before booking a first session.
Sometimes the first session will help you understand whether therapy is the right support for you, whether the therapist feels like a good fit, and whether you feel ready to continue.
You may come away feeling clearer. You may also come away with more questions. That is okay. Therapy is a process, and the first step does not need to answer everything.
If you are unsure, you can also explore what therapy can help with, read more about how therapy works, or ask a question before booking.
What if I feel worse afterwards?
Talking about difficult things can often bring emotions closer to the surface.
You may feel tired, tender, thoughtful or unsettled after a first session. Though hard, this is usually a sign that you’ve been able to share important and raw parts of your story. It may be the start of truly acknowledging everything you have been carrying.
It can be useful to give yourself some time after the session to reflect and regroup. You might want to avoid rushing straight into something demanding, drink some water, take a short walk, or make a note of anything you want to bring back next time.
If you feel very distressed after a session, or are worried about how you are feeling, it is important to let your therapist know so they can help you to ground yourself back in to life.
Taking the first step
Your first therapy session does not need to cover everything. You don’t need to know exactly what to say, how to explain everything, or what kind of therapy you need before you begin.
It is simply a starting point.
A first session can help you talk things through, ask questions, understand the therapist’s approach, and get a feel for whether the relationship feels right.
Whether you feel ready to begin or are still unsure, we’re here to help. You can meet browse our therapist profiles, learn more about how therapy works, or get in touch if you need advice.
